Are you a worn-out mama who has a kiddo suffering from frenemies? Or maybe you just want the tools already in your arsenal for the first conversation when it happens? Read-on for some conversation points!
The Frenemies Conversation Tip #1
Tamp down the mama bear instinct to protect and keep calm. You need to keep your rational head because your kiddo is going to be full of emotion. You’ll want to jump in and rescue, but don’t.
This is your chance to help them deal with life on their own with some guidance from you.
The Frenemies Conversation Tip #2
Ask for details about what’s going on with your child and their friend. Normally there’s drama because a third friend is in the mix and three’s a crowd. This is the case for boys and girls mama!
The Frenemies Conversation Tip #3
Explain that bullying is about someone having power over you. The way that you react can make them feel like they have more power.
Talk about how their frenemy is going to be nice to them some days and then use their power over them the next. It might seem like things are looking up and then they will take a turn seconds later.
The Frenemies Conversation Tip #4
Empower them by telling them they are in control of their choices.
The first is they can choose how they feel about everything. Nobody can make them feel any certain way. Talk through how they feel when their frenemy turns on them and how they can choose to feel differently.
The second is they can choose their friends. They don’t have to keep a friend that tries to make them feel bad about themselves. Or they can choose to keep the frenemy and know that they will continue to hurt them. In the end, it is their choice.
The Frenemies Conversation Tip #5
Make sure they know they can share with you every time they have issues with their frenemy. You will continue to be supportive of them and be there, no matter if they choose to keep them as a friend or not.
Remind them there is help when you aren’t there. They can talk to a teacher or counselor at school.
The Frenemies Conversation Tip #6
Rinse and repeat.
Unfortunately, you are probably going to have to repeat this same conversation over and over. Do the best you can do and remember that your kiddo is going to make choices you don’t agree with.
You’ve given them the tools to make it through and now they have to decide how to move forward.