Controlling your anger is tough tired mama. Maybe “mom-gry” is the new hangry in your house?
Mom-gry: what is being on the edge of angry at everything your child does because they have pushed every single last button that you have! Like, even saying “mom” is grating on your last nerve lady.
This. Is. Human. We all get angry and you are normal.
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Controlling Your Ager: Use Natural Consequences
Natural consequences help your kids “feel the burn” of their choices and leave less of the feelings of anger on your plate. It takes you out of the role of being the bad guy and helps them see they are suffering because of a choice they made.
If you already use them in your house, great!
Don’t use them yet but want to learn more? Check out Natural Consequences – The Easy Way To Discipline.
Controlling Your Anger: Recognize What Is Happening Physically
When you’re getting angry, you will have a physical reaction that starts to creep up. Maybe for you it starts with your back or neck getting tight? Or possibly you start to clench your fists? Maybe blood starts to rush towards your head?
However it starts for you, recognize it’s happening before you get to the boiling point!
Controlling Your Anger: Change Direction
You need to find something to do that stops you from escalating to the Hulk stage. You know, the one where you feel horrible after you’ve done it but couldn’t stop yourself in the moment?
Play A Song
Do you have a favorite that normally gets you smiling? If so, that becomes your new go-to and you need to download it to your phone. Like stop reading and download now. You don’t want to be caught without it the next time the anger is creeping up!
If you don’t have one that comes to mind try this list out and see what fits.
- Get The Party Started – Pink
- Brave – Sara Bareilles
- Don’t Stop Believin’ – Journey
- Don’t Worry Be Happy Now – Bobby McFerrin
- You’re My Best Friend – Queen
- I Believe In A Thing Called Love – The Darkness
- I Feel Good – James Brown
- Banana Pancakes – Jack Johnson
- Cecilia – Simon & Garfunkel
- Comeback Kid – Brett Dennen
Maybe stopping what you’re doing to make the good smelling cup of coffee or the cozy mug of tea you like. What if you kept the chocolates you love on reserve in the freezer and you pop one in your mouth before the momma rage comes out?
Don’t have any favorite treats? Borrow some of mine.
- Caramel Coffee Cake Coffee – Dunkin’ Donuts
- I Love Lemon Tea – Bigelow
- Lindor Dark Caramel With Sea Salt Truffles
- Andes Crème De Menthe Thins
Try to get rid of some of the anger energy by doing a few planks, push ups or high knees. Checkout the links below to some quick workouts on Pinterest. Find one to save and refer back to when you’re heated.
Have A Mantra
Sometimes having a phrase to repeat helps you start lowering your rage and the physical build up that it’s creating. Come up with something short and sweet that changes your focus for the better.
- My anger is a choice. I choose calm.
- This moment will pass.
- I will not mind be in control of my body and my actions.
- I will not speak or take action until I am calm.
- I can only control myself and how I react.
- I will only do what will make me proud tomorrow.
- She is more precious than rubies. Proverbs 3:15
- The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. Proverbs 28:7
- She is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25
- When she speaks, her words are wise and kindness is the rule for everything she says. Proverbs 31:26
Pretend Someone Is Filming You
What if someone caught you on video while you were blowing your top in front of your kids? Would it go viral on FB or YouTube? Could you proudly show your face to all of your friends if they saw what happened?
Again, this isn’t to shame you or make you beat yourself up for what’s in the past. This is just another way for you to help reflect on your responses and help you make a change for the better.
Controlling Your Anger: Forgive Yourself And Your Kiddo
After you’ve tried all the tips and the first time you still say or do something you still wish you hadn’t, forgive yourself. Remember in the beginning I said that it was normal? It still is even after you’re consciously trying to make a change.
You also need to forgive that kiddo for the thing they’ve found to push your buttons. Part of the reason why you’re so quick to jump to the anger emotion is because they keep doing it and you can’t let it go.
Wipe the slate clean for the both of you and start fresh as best you can!